A Little Over 24 Hours

That's all it took for my faith-filled quest to not only come to a halt but turn and run in the other direction.

The reason for this? Ayn Rand, of course. Well, that and my inability to refrain from reading things that I KNOW will cause problems and raise questions.

If you're interested, below is a link, a compilation of clips from three interviews with Rand. There's a Youtube video in the top left corner, and you can read the transcript while following along.

public.youtranscript.com/zs/882.html

I can't question reason. While I don't agree that acting on emotions is the same as faith, all of the rest is spot on.

Why I torture my brain with philosophy I will never know.

Someday

I just finished another really great book.

"Same Kind of Different As Me" by Ron Hall & Denver Moore.

Read it.

It's about an unlikely friendship between a dangerous homeless drifter and an upscale art dealer. It was focused on the restorative power of forgiveness and unconditional love.

I don't know what my deal has been lately, but I've been gravitating towards a lot of books about faith and love. My best guess is that I know the definition of faith, but I don't understand it. At all. And I'm not singling out religion here, rather I don't see how everyone around me can put faith, blind faith into virtually anything or anyone. Without hesitation, I might add. Call me a cynic, but it's just not comprehensible to my brain.

However, when reading this book I came across something I'd like to share:

"...Christianity is not a religion; it's a relationship." "...which is why I know that when my faith was shattered and I raged against Him, He still accepted me. And even though I have penciled a black mark in His column, I can be honest about it. That's what a relationship is all about."

I've heard plenty of times about the relationship people think they have with god, and I'm always quick to dismiss it as delusion or something like it. And that's not fair, but I never fully realized just how unfair I was really being until I read that above passage. A lightbulb went off, and I realized that my problem isn't with god, it's with people and the bible. How is it possible that I can feel more comfortable putting blind faith into an unknown superior being hanging out in the sky but not the "holy text" I can physically hold in my hand?

Answer? People.

I tend to expect the ugly to come out in most people, because it usually does. The human race is why I can't put any belief in faith. That's not to say that I don't wish I could, because I do. I do want that. I've been reading all of these books lately like a maniac on a mission, and this was the first one to propel me one giant step forward. Maybe I just need to put out more love, and the faith will come.

Faith in myself. Faith in another person, idea, philosophy. Faith in the unknown.

Herroo

So, I finally wrote my first lesson plan. It's about time, right? Anyway, if any of you would like to read it, I'd be happy to send it your way. It's for 5th graders and about the Road to the American Revolution  =)

Movie Mania

After a week full to the brim of movies and documentaries, I've been thinking all day about which film I would like my life to most resemble. I couldn't come up with an answer. However, I just got back from the grocery store, and when walking down one of the aisles I was ambushed by a five year-old boy. He was shooting me with an invisible gun complete with an invisible laser. I so badly wanted to join in on the fun, but I also didn't want to drop the eggs.

Lame. I should have asked him what movie he was acting from.

Not-So-Tactful

Is it wrong to call someone out in the middle of lab and say that you don't appreciate them copying down all of your answers? That they don't contribute at all and shouldn't reap the benefits of everyone else's collaborative effort? That this is the second time in a row you have done this, and I can't sit politely and idly this go-around?

I'm assuming that come tomorrow, I'm going to feel badly about the things I said, especially since I don't even know your name.

I mean, you're really sweet and everything, but that poor, pitiful "puppy-dog" face that you seem to have mastered so well isn't going to work.

There's this concept you might want to brush up on called integrity although THAT, you will not be able to find in any of my lab packets.

It will actually require the use of your brain.

Surprising, I know.

Insanity

So, last night (meaning Monday night/tuesday morning) marked my first all-nighter of the semester, and it has forced me to come to the following conclusion:

Pulling off a successful all-nighter is an art form.

You need the right food at the right intervals, a clean distraction-free environment, the right music...wait, are we setting up for a date?

Seriously though, the combination has to be spot on or everything falls apart.

During my all-nighter, I managed to type up two 8-paged papers with citations and everything. I also had to shower, go to class from 8am to 12:30pm, run errands, take a 3-hour nap, and then start my third paper of the day which amounted to 7 pages right before my midnight deadline.

23 pages in less than 24 hours. Shit. And I'm not asleep yet?!

You guys might want to make sure I didn't turn into a robot.

Call It

When I first saw this, I called shenanigans immediately. Then I came back to it about a week ago and decided to try it out.

I was proven wrong. This works.

Every time.