Lost Generation

There's this boy I visit in the hospital from time to time. His name is Max, and he's turning nine in a few months. He gave me a poem today. I asked if I could share it on here, but he seemed pretty reserved about it, so I'll just give you a summary.

It was title-less, and it was short. It was about a scarecrow in a vast field, however none of the crows were actually scared of him. They would fly right on up to this scarecrow and pull away pieces of straw, one at a time until there was nothing left.

After Max read it to me, he paused and then told me, "...this poem isn't about a scarecrow. It's about me."

Max has terminal cancer. He's only nine years old, but already he feels that kids his age along with his family and the doctors keep picking and picking away at him. I think he's worried about dying. Sometimes I feel like he's smarter than I am, but what on earth am I supposed to say to something like that? All I could muster was an "I know" complete with a hug. It seemed to help, but who knows..

I wish you guys could meet him. He sees the world in a way that I think we're all striving for, minus this one poem of course. But hey, we all have those days.

Word of the Day

Noumena -- From the philosophy of Kant


By Kant’s view, humans can make sense out of phenomena in . . . various ways, but can never directly know the noumena, the “things-in-themselves”, the actual objects and dynamics of the natural world. In other words, by Kant’s Critique, our minds may attempt to correlate in useful ways, perhaps even closely accurate ways, with the structure and order of the various aspects of the universe, but cannot know these “things-in-themselves” (noumena) directly. Rather, we must infer the extent to which thoughts correspond with things-in-themselves by our observations of the manifestations of those things that can be sensed, that is, of phenomena.




Mouthful, I know. 


...My thoughts on this coming soon.

A Little Over 24 Hours

That's all it took for my faith-filled quest to not only come to a halt but turn and run in the other direction.

The reason for this? Ayn Rand, of course. Well, that and my inability to refrain from reading things that I KNOW will cause problems and raise questions.

If you're interested, below is a link, a compilation of clips from three interviews with Rand. There's a Youtube video in the top left corner, and you can read the transcript while following along.

public.youtranscript.com/zs/882.html

I can't question reason. While I don't agree that acting on emotions is the same as faith, all of the rest is spot on.

Why I torture my brain with philosophy I will never know.

Someday

I just finished another really great book.

"Same Kind of Different As Me" by Ron Hall & Denver Moore.

Read it.

It's about an unlikely friendship between a dangerous homeless drifter and an upscale art dealer. It was focused on the restorative power of forgiveness and unconditional love.

I don't know what my deal has been lately, but I've been gravitating towards a lot of books about faith and love. My best guess is that I know the definition of faith, but I don't understand it. At all. And I'm not singling out religion here, rather I don't see how everyone around me can put faith, blind faith into virtually anything or anyone. Without hesitation, I might add. Call me a cynic, but it's just not comprehensible to my brain.

However, when reading this book I came across something I'd like to share:

"...Christianity is not a religion; it's a relationship." "...which is why I know that when my faith was shattered and I raged against Him, He still accepted me. And even though I have penciled a black mark in His column, I can be honest about it. That's what a relationship is all about."

I've heard plenty of times about the relationship people think they have with god, and I'm always quick to dismiss it as delusion or something like it. And that's not fair, but I never fully realized just how unfair I was really being until I read that above passage. A lightbulb went off, and I realized that my problem isn't with god, it's with people and the bible. How is it possible that I can feel more comfortable putting blind faith into an unknown superior being hanging out in the sky but not the "holy text" I can physically hold in my hand?

Answer? People.

I tend to expect the ugly to come out in most people, because it usually does. The human race is why I can't put any belief in faith. That's not to say that I don't wish I could, because I do. I do want that. I've been reading all of these books lately like a maniac on a mission, and this was the first one to propel me one giant step forward. Maybe I just need to put out more love, and the faith will come.

Faith in myself. Faith in another person, idea, philosophy. Faith in the unknown.

Herroo

So, I finally wrote my first lesson plan. It's about time, right? Anyway, if any of you would like to read it, I'd be happy to send it your way. It's for 5th graders and about the Road to the American Revolution  =)

Movie Mania

After a week full to the brim of movies and documentaries, I've been thinking all day about which film I would like my life to most resemble. I couldn't come up with an answer. However, I just got back from the grocery store, and when walking down one of the aisles I was ambushed by a five year-old boy. He was shooting me with an invisible gun complete with an invisible laser. I so badly wanted to join in on the fun, but I also didn't want to drop the eggs.

Lame. I should have asked him what movie he was acting from.